Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
