Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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