i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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