I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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