she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just want to make out with him forever
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
