Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
