Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
