So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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