Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
BRING THE BAGELS
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