you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
