He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
