her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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