Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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