Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
