If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
