His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
