I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
