She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
