Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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