I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
either way he was missing a nipple.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think my moral compass just broke
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
