My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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