that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
