i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize