I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
