i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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