Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
