Me too!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
