i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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