I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im holly from the hills drunk
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
