is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
