I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
