After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
