Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
