She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize