I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
