you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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