I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
