nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
