It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
