Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
