I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize