Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
