so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
