The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
