Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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