You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
