u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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