I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
