How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
