Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
