You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
