Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
