i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
