Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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