idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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