making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
