how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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