Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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