Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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