We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize