Christians are straight up FREAKS
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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