Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
