the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
